


Parallels

by Hitoshi



Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Depressed Prussia, Germany is confused, Head Injury, I hate myself, I think this is a bad interpretation of mental illness, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, i am horrible, past alcoholism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9241877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitoshi/pseuds/Hitoshi
Summary: Norway, Romania, and England mess up on a spell that was supposed to make the other nations believe in magic for a day. Instead, they transfer all the nations into a parallel world! And in doing so, Germany finds a secret about his brother, Prussia- after they get back of course! Brotherly Germancest!





	1. Chapter One

***Coughs***

_**This isn't using the personality for Gilen above but...** _

_**Imagine this:** _ _The 1Ps meet their 2Ps, figuring out they're basically opposites of themselves. However, when the others meet Gilen, they're confused as towards why he's exactly what they portray Gilbert as- Obnoxious, (awesome), loud, and outgoing._

_Then they soon realize as the 1P Prussian's soft sighs are heard when he sees their faces of confusion._

_He's always saying he's lonely, but keeps it to himself, and that he's "fine" with it. They've figured out his cheery and loud attitude was a mask, concealing what he's truely like inside._

**guys im sorry it just happened and i couldn't resist-**

And this is by a Wikia user on the 2p! Prussia and I feel inspired by it so I'm going to write a fanfic about this.

**_This does not belong to me_ **

* * *

It all started when Norway, England, and Romania had their little magic club meeting. It consisted of spells that were done in a disastrous attempt to prove to the other countries that magic was real. Now, England proposed all this at first. Romania jumped at the idea to use magic; he had a particular spell in mind. Norway was more opposed to the idea but was convinced when England begged him to but he only accepted with the condition that it would be reversed within 24 hours. Romania frowned and loudly voiced his disappointment, arguing that it should be longer to make sure that the countries really knew what happened and that it was not a dream. Norway firmly stated that if his conditions were not met then he would not participate in this magic group any longer. England remained torn but luckily Romania grudgingly relented and suggested that certain spell he had stuck in his mind. England and Norway agreed to casting it, as it sounded harmless enough. It just made the other countries see supernatural beings such as this magic trio can.

"Αντιθέτ?ν στοίχιση παράλληλα λέξεις ενώνουν  
Δείξτε μας ένα κόσμο  
ου είναι τόσο σκοτεινό όπ?ς η νύχτα"

Oppositum align  
parallel worlds unitum  
show us a world that et dark et the noctulum"

They chanted over and over again in Greek, using their magic to cast this spell. But what they neglected to know was that they had mispronounced quite a few words. The original spell had been distorted to something much worse than seeing supernatural beings- they had summoned themselves and their fellow countries into a different world. A large thundering sound was heard by the countries which was followed by a blinding light. Most screamed at the sudden disturbance and squeezed their eyes shut while the others simply shut their eyes-an impulse caused by the light- too shocked to do anything. And when the countries opened their eyes, they were in a totally out-of-this-world...place..

"Dude! Seriously, can someone turn on the lights here?! It's getting like really creepy in here!" America screamed as he looked around, only to turn to glowing red eyes staring right back at him.

"Why hello porkchop, pleased to meet you, fatass."

America promptly screamed and passed out.

This reaction happened with many of the other countries. But some like Russia actually got along with their 'voice'. The lights flickered on and off for a few seconds before staying on thankfully although it was rather dim. What the conscious countries saw shocked them at least. England instantly turned to Romania and kicked him awake before yelling,

"What the bloody hell was that spell all about?! Did you lie to use Romania?!"

A male around 5'11, with almost the same platinum hair as Romania and had amber eyes that were only a touch darker than his, threw a bloodied dagger at England and spat out,"What's up f***er?! You talkin' to me?"

England was momentarily stunned and the other unrecognizable people in the room snickered, amused by his confusion white the countries _he_ knew-at least the ones that were still awake-looked on in confusion and slight terror. "W-w-what?" He stammered out," B-but this-" He pointed at the half conscious Romanian next to him-" _This_ is Romania!"

That same male with platinum hair and all replied with a snarl," What's that f****t? You lying to me now? I have Rome's blood in me you know, I could summon his legions to come behead you."

"W-what on earth are you talking about?! Rome is dead!"

Then a burly male who had curly brown locks and deep brown eyes-a dead ringer for Ancient Rome- emerged from a shadowed corner of the room. "I'm right here."

England turned to him and sputtered out," R-rome...b-but.."

A light giggle was heard through the room and a pink haired, blue eyed male with pasty white skin approached England with skips. "Heey now~ Let's not treat our guests that way! We're more kind like that aren't we?" He asked sweetly, looking up at the other people in the room with his wide, rather innocent looking eyes. The room erupted in laughs.

England's face turned red as blood rushed to his head in embarrassment. Was he being embarrassed by this pink haired weirdo? He started to open his mouth but the pink haired man beat him to it. He said in a deadly low voice. "Now, we wouldn't want to aalll end up in the meany ambulance riiight~" That shut them up very quick but a brave soul shouted at the pinkette,"C'mon Ollie, they won't last a day here. Can't we just mess em up already? Don't save them all for yourself, we want some fun too!" It was the same guy who spooked America so much that he fainted.

"Shut up Allen." The pinkette, now known as 'Ollie', muttered to Allen in the same low voice as before," You're so dumb you wouldn't even know an a** to a real donkey's a**!"

"Tch, geez, Ollie, someone didn't get their daily dose of a**hole today!"

Ollie growled and someone shouted," Allen, shut yer stupid trap! You know what he did to Louis!"

England turned to the direction of the voice and saw that it was _Matthew?_

"M-matthew?!"

The Matthew look-alike turned to England and spat out," It's Matt, you dumb****." And he flicked a cigarette in England's direction.

Allen grumbled and crossed his arms in a petulant manner. "Stupid stick in the mud."

"Wow, you actually know real words." Ollie commented.

"...Shut up.."

Ollie smiled sweetly and then proceeded to introduce every one of the unfamiliar people.

"So this is Allen,"

"Matt,"

"Viktor,"

"Kuro,"

"Gilen,"

"Xiao,"

"Lutz,"

And on and on he went. By the time he finished, all the other countries woke up and were pretty confused at their surroundings but were luckily filled in by Ollie.

"Ohh, and one more thiing~ I'm Oliver and _don't. call. me. Ollie._ " Oliver ended the sentence with a snarl.

"Wait, so what's going on? Liiiiettt, explain to mee."

And Oliver was bombarded with questions. Which he happily answered by the way.


	2. Chapter 2

The nations were all crowded into a room, loudly arguing about what to do about this dilemma. They had been here in this world for almost a day already with no signs of somehow getting back to their old world. Luckily it hadn't got violent yet... _Yet.._ But who could last that long without sleep without drinking tea and that big ol' cup of Joe without getting violent or at least grouchy?

"This is, like, all England's fault! He was the only one that was talking to them!" Poland screamed out, very upset that one of the other unknown 'pseudo' nations had ripped up his favorite outfit in a fit of anger. "Look at this," He wailed to Lithuania, pointing to a very prominent rip in his shirt.

"How the bloody hell is this all _my_ fault?!" England shouted at Poland before going on a long rant about how this wasn't his fault, clearly at the end of his rope. "Are you even listening?!"

Romania was sitting in the corner, sulking. "I can't believe one of my spells went wrong..." He muttered dejectedly.

The squabbling continued and no one was getting anything done except building tensions that lead to screaming at one another. But finally, Germany could not take it any longer and shouted, " _ **EVERYONE SHUT UP!**_ " Everyone immediately did. "Now everyone vill take zheir turn." Germany instructed. "Now zhe first one to go is..." He tried to ignore Alfred's wildly waving hand. "...fine...America..."

"Okay, so dude, this guy, Allen, he's a total villain! He threatened to rip my voice box out!" Alfred wailed.

"...Zhat isn't a bad idea.."

"You're so mean!"

"Next is England." Germany quickly moved on.

England cleared his throat. "Ahem, well, according to my observations..those..other people are our opposites."

By the time England finished his sentence, all the countries quieted down in interest, except for a few who kept on chatting. "What do you mean?" Germany asked.

"Well, every single one of the others have very..distinct personalities from us but for everyone of us, there is another one of them who look like slightly like us that act like the exact opposite of us. Except for a few like the ancients...they are strangely still here.." England murmured, "But getting back to the topic, they are our opposites; I'm certain of it." Now the entire room was silent. They were all pondering the possibility of it. Before a certain American broke it...with his obviously well thought out comment.

"Heyy! That can't be happening! No one can be as awesome as the HERO!"

" _WHY YOU BLOODY GIT!_ " England then proceeded to throttle America. Pandemonium then started..again. And Germany once again, had to 'calm them down'.

"But yeah," America said after England finally got off him, but more like England was pulled off," this Allen guy is kinda like the opposite of me, the villain! He's so mean and angry all the time, it's like he's out to get me!"

England snorted,"You finally used your brain..." He was still ticked off at America's blatant ignorance from his last comment.

"At least my food is edible!"

And there they went again. The other countries sighed. It seemed like both of them, more than likely England had a shorter fuse than usual. It was getting more boring. Their little arguments were getting old. Meanwhile, Germany was carefully thinking about England's theory. If every single country had their own opposite, then why exactly was Gilbert's opposite, Gilen, so..so upbeat and.. just like Gilbert? Was this all a dream? But it seemed so real..it can't be true that Gilbert would be so sad and..unawesome. Germany sighed. He would never be able to figure out his brother. But fear not; he did not have to because he was suddenly distracted by very loud screaming and felt a sudden peace fall upon him that lulled him to close his eyes and fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

Germany awoke to find that he, along with all the other countries were in their meeting room again. In their own world. Hopefully. As the other countries woke up as well, he remembered something. It was there, but very fuzzy. What was he thinking about again? "Nevermind..I'll zhink about it later." He muttered to himself.

"Ve~ Germany, what are you-a talking about?" Italy asked, sleepy from the ordeal.

"Nozhing Italy, go back to sleep."

"Ve~ Alright!" Italy immediately conked out on Ludwig who was conveniently there.

"Vhat was I zhinking again?" Germany wondered out loud. Then again, it probably wasn't important as nothing escapes the German's mind. Unless it was really that unimportant. 'I can zhink about this tomorrow..what really needs to be figured out is how vee got zhere..' Was the last thought that he had before he decided to give in to the growing want of sleep. Whatever needed to be dealt with could be dealt with tomorrow..Hopefully it wouldn't be as disastrous as the previous one..


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey so what the heck happened yesterday?!" Was the number one thing shouted out or thought of when the countries woke up. And the only answer that they got were either "I honestly don't know.", "Probably England failed a spell.", or even "Wait, what did happened yesterday?" But yes, they were all so confused and actually, some didn't even care as they'd forgotten already. Soft murmuring erupted as Germany and Russia- the two scariest countries in like, the history of countries, ever- were still sleeping. Oh and Italy was too. He was sleeping conveniently in the arms of Germany; oh Japan and Hungary are probably video-taping it already as it was going on- at least till they wake up at least. 'Hopefully they don't for a while...' prayed both Japan and Hungary, but unfortunately they jinxed it; Italy began to wake up. And when he fully awoken, he would probably wake up Germany too.. damn.. why are all the yaoi moments ruined like this?

"Ve~ Buongiorno, Germany!" Italy exclaimed as he stretched awake. Japan and Hungary were heard moaning in frustration at the awakening of Italy by the countries around them. Well...at least they had those other 500+ hours of video taping, over 1000+ pictures, over 50 different doujinshis, and had even created a blog about the pairing(called GerIta. also known as Beer and Pasta) on Tumblr! Yep, they shipped these two very hard.

Germany groaned as he slowly woke up(once again) to Italy's almost suffocating happiness[read deadly weapon of mass destruction] "Yes...guten morgen Italy.."  
He replied. He woke up with this strange feeling in his chest that told him that he was forgetting something. Something was off.

"Ve~ Why are all the other countries whispering in groups? Ooh~ Are they talking about a secret?" Italy chattered on and on, acting like his usual self. Germany looked up. "Hm?" Italy was right. He opened his mouth to say something but at least half of the countries in the room frantically shook their heads and pointed at a sleeping Russia. Italy looked at them, confused and took in a deep breath but Germany forcefully closed his mouth. A pissed off, possibly murderous Russian was not worth finding out what exactly happened. Even Germany could be creeped out by Russia. England had decided to fill the two in on what happened. But it wasn't much. Apparently they had missed a day. Or rather, disappeared for a day. No one knew why or how and the only reason they knew that they had missed a day was because of the frantic texts they had all received from their bosses after they had not returned home from their world meeting. Well except for America... he blocked Trump from his phone number so he had to rely on other countries to find out what happened. He was still pissed at Trump's win after all.

"..." Germany was speechless.

"Ve~ How did that happen? Ahh! It might have been a ghost?! Veee, Germany, protect me!" Italy screeched, before anyone could do anything. Germany slapped his hands onto Italy's mouth (a few) seconds too late. Everyone's heads snapped towards Russia, who was slowly waking up. Everyone froze as his dark aura came out. "Kolkolkolkol, who woke me up?"

Nobody answered and Russia's 'kol'ing became worse. "Well? It is rude to wake someone up and not apologize."

Germany started to open his mouth but then Prussia beat him to it. "Jeez, don't be so unawesome! You've done worse to ozher nations and you don't even apologize!" Prussia cackled," How can you expect someone to apologize to you zhen?!"

"Oh, Gilbert, you are here. I thought this was a meeting for countries." Russia commented innocently (not).

Prussia flushed a bright red and retorted with, "I'm still considered East Germany! I'm still a country!"

"But Germany is united now, da? So you should not be here."

Prussia stiffened and was about to shout, and possibly jump at Russia but America joined in on the conversation. "Hey, not cool! That's really unheroic of you, ya commie bastard!"

"America, once you get it into your thick head that I do not like you and the only reason why I am not at war with you is because my president supports your, then you may say something intellectual to me for once. Da? Da."

America snorted, and burst out into laughter. "Why're you saying 'da' all the time? You miss your daddy? Oh wait, you never had one!"

" At least I never hurt mine, America."

"...Touché.."

Russia smiled happily. "Back to what I said. Gilbert, no one wants you here. You are just an annoying disturbance to us. Even your 'Old Man Fritz' wanted to leave you."

The room was silent. A few countries fidgeted awkwardly and some even left the room, saying that they had to get back to their own country and finish 'paperwork'. Prussia stayed silent, his fists slowly clenching, biting his lip as he slowly processed what Russia said. And he smiled.

"Being alone iz so much _fun,_ you should know, Russia!" He shouted gleefully, "I'm just helping everyone know how fun it is! Kesesesese!" Then, he ran off, leaving an awkward silence in his leave.

After that, the remaining countries exited the room, one by one. The last to exit were Germany and Italy.

'Vhat did I just see?...Is zhere somezhing vrong with Prussia?..' Germany thought. Prussia was too..too.. nonchalant about Russia's jab at Fritz. And why did he flush bright red when Russia also pointed out that he was not a country anymore? That hardly bothered him anymore right? Why did it bother him now of all times?

And _why the fuck was he getting a bad feeling about Prussia?_


	4. Chapter Four

A loud knock jolted Germany from his paper work. He looked up at the door and sighed. 'It is eizher Italy or Prussia..again.' He thought exasperatedly. 'Should I..' His mind immediately flashed back to all the times Italy rushed in to cry about someone scaring him or a nightmare. But with that, he also remembered when he was told that Prussia would basically be given over to Russia.. Best not to risk it. Plus Prussia had been coming home drunk more than he used to so it could be him.

He slowly rose from his desk and walked to the door. There was another knock at the door, louder than the one before. Germany sighed at this person's impatience. 'Zhis better be good..'

They knocked again, quickly this time and there was a shout that accompanied it. "We have an injured amigo here, please hurry up if you are there!" Upon hearing this, Germany immediately jerked open the door and was met with two very familiar, and very sheepish French and Spanish men holding a very drunk Prussian man in between them who had a very prominent bruise on his cheek. "Vhat happened to my bruder?!"

France coughed sheepishly and looked away as he said," Well, mon ami, we all went out for a few drinks and Prussia 'ad a little bit too much to drink and got into a fight?.."

Spain nodded as he was quick to confirm this," Si! Someone thought he was flirting with their girlfriend and decided to confront him about it..I think."

"Kesesesese~ And I von!" Prussia cackled, wildly swaying from side to side. Germany sighed; he should be used to this situation by now. Prussia was always clingy when he became drunk. No wonder that guy thought that. "Alright. Danke." He took Prussia by the arm who immediately began to cling onto him.

"Germanyyy, it'sss ssso coldd..."Prussia slurred as Germany closed the door and began to carry him to the couch.

Germany groaned, feeling a headache coming even though _he_ wasn't going to be the one hungover tomorrow morning..

"Veeestt..."

'This is going to be a long night...'

And yes it was. By the morning, Germany was close to either punching a hole in his well decorated walls or awkwardly holding Prussia as he slept. He chose the latter. Prussia had been waking up at odd hours of the nights, wailing, and falling asleep again. Sometimes he even lashed out and at other times, he buried his face deeper into the couch, as if wanting to hide from something. At this current time, Prussia was burying his face into Germany's arm. And Germany was trying to finish his paperwork. Unsuccessfully. Prussia's cell phone kept on ringing every few minutes and it will get annoying after listening to 'I'm Awesome!' way too many times.. When it rang (once again), Germany groaned and tried to ignore it as he desperately tried to at least finish 100 pages of his paperwork without being disturbed.

Germany looked down when he felt shifting and saw Prussia turning as he slowly opened his eyes. "Vest.." He croaked out.

Germany stiffened and momentarily abandoned his paperwork to lift Prussia up. "Vhat happened?" Prussia asked.

"You should be telling me zhat."

Prussia ignored that and instead asked," Has my phone been ringing?.."

Another ring answered Prussia's question. He quickly snatched his phone and shakily stood up and made it across the room before puking on the floor. "Sorry.."

Germany shook his head. "Nein..it's okay. I'll clean it. Just lay down."

Prussia gave no reply and grabbed a water bottle before he made it up the stairs. Surprisingly he only slipped on one of them but got up after and probably went to his room. Germany sighed and went to clean up the throw up. Prussia was hung over so he'd be acting differently right? After this he'd return to his normal self. Where he didn't have nightmares and get drunk way too many times in one week. And when he wasn't so distant.. When he wasn't drunk off his ass, he was always holed up in his room now. Before, Prussia would actually talk to him even if it was about practically nothing but how awesome he was. Germany was always annoyed at it. But now? He would kill for even an 'I'm Awesome!'. Something he hadn't heard since their mysterious disappearance as their superiors coined it. Germany finished cleaning up the throw up and threw away the paper towel he used.

Germany made it up the stairs and headed towards Prussia's room. But as he was going to knock, he heard a voice.

"Please, Mister Beilschmidt, you _have_ to stop. You know that your alcoholism is impacting your personal life, yet you still do it! You haven't even told anyone about this and you can't do this alone! Please at least tell your brother! He deserves to know!"

"Nein, he does not. He does not need to vorry about me. I can deal wizh zhis myself."

"Mister Beilschmidt, no you cannot. You need help. Everyone needs help when it comes to something as addicting as alcoholism. And with your PTSD and depression combined, you could snap in your drunken state and hurt one of your loved ones or yourself! They need to know for their safety as much as yours!"

"..Nein. I do not. I vill not hurt anyone I can do zhis myself wizh or wizhout you. I vill not tell zhem and zhey vill never know."

"Mister Beilschmidt, please-" There was a beep as Prussia presumably hung up.

"Mein gott..." He whispered, his voice cracking. The sound of muffled sobs was heard by Germany. "Mein gott..." More sobs were heard and Germany just stood there until he could handle no more and rushed downstairs to call some very familiar people.

* * *

 

Fyi, reviews are always welcome! (Sorry if this chapter kinda sucks btw)  
  
I am literally copy and pasting this off of my FF.net account (The Captured Ones) and one day I'll get back to this and edit it because my brain juices are running dry- ;-;


	5. Chapter 5

Italy was flirting with pretty ladies when his phone suddenly rang. "Scusa, scusa! Please let me take this-a call!" He said before he scurried off to answer.

"Ciao! This is Italy! Who are-a you?"

"Italy, zhis is Germany, and I need to ask you, _have you noticed anyzhing different about Prussia recently?_ " Germany's voice was full of urgency, as it usually was, but for some reason, it sounded different.. And that kinda scared Italy..

"Prussia? Eh, no...why? Is there-a something wrong with him? Ve, is he going to die?!" Italy wailed.

"Nein! No! He isn't going to die...danke Italy." There was a beep as Germany hung up. Italy just stood there, holding his silent phone, confused at the sudden hang up. "Ve?..."

* * *

"Gilbert? No, he's been fine! Just more rowdy than usual. We haven't been hanging out recently though. He's been canceling all our plans to go out. HE usually doesn't do that. Suspicious, si?"

"Non. But may I ask why-"

"I honestly don't know why you want to ask me about Gilbert. Good day."

"Why? Did Gilbert do something again? Do you need my frying pan?"

Germany quickly hung up. He had found nothing. Nothing that could point to what he overheard to be true. But it was Prussia's voice. And someone else's who he didn't recognize. PTSD he could believe, and understand. Most of the countries, save for the micronations, have at least some form of PTSD from all the wars they've been through though some have as they say have 'gotten used to it'. And well alcoholism.. Prussia did drink a lot. At least five times a week now, but it would only affect his work habits right? (Not that he had any)

He took out his phone and searched for answers using the almighty Google to research the only thing out of the trio that he hardly knew of. Depression. As Germany read through the articles, one specific thing scared him. 'Depression can lead to self-harm, including suicide. It is important to note that for every one successful suicide, twenty-five attempted suicides will fail.'

Well this took an unexpected turn. Suicide. Something that was very often taboo to speak about in practically everywhere in the world. Germany reached up and touched his heart. Berlin. Even though World War Two was so long ago, over half a century ago...the mass suicides still hurt. If he were to think about them and reach into the depths of his memory(rather short memory actually. He still couldn't remember anything before 1806), he could still feel the fear and anxiety before his people decided to kill themselves. When the parents killed their children. And _oh god,_ the _screams_ of the children, as in their final moments, they thought that the most trusted people ever in their lives, their parents, had betrayed them. And the overwhelming guilt and desperation to believe that they, the parents, had made the right choice in order to 'save' their children, and the tears of pain as the parents, also, killed themselves. Sure, there were other methods of suicide that the civilians had used. And this one he remembered the most. He almost preferred it if they had chosen to hang themselves instead. Or better yet, not have killed themselves. Ah, it was a dark time to live, back then.

Even he had felt suicidal, affected by his people's overwhelming fear, anxiety, and the emotion he had always remembered, even to this day, _hate._ Burning, smoldering hate. In that year, 1945, he had tried to kill _himself_ a number of ways. Cyanide capsules. Slitting his wrists. Heck, even a gun to the head didn't work. But back then he was still a country. A young, youthful, powerful country. And he was still living to this day.

But Prussia? Sure, he still technically was considered 'East Germany'. But Germany was united now. Sure, there were still some differences between Eastern and Western Germany, beliefs and household incomes, but then again, they were only united less than thirty years ago. How long then, til Germany is equal. When Prussia would no longer be needed. When he would become.. a normal _human._ One that would age with the years.. and one that would be able to _die._ What if, when that truly happens, if it does ever, that Prussia would feel, suicidal, and kill himself. Even now it could be slightly possible. Hell, when he got whacked with Hungary's frying pan just last year, he had to go to the hospital to be treated with a _concussion._ A concussion of all sorts. It never happened before. It only stung him a bit and he was back to his feet in no time. Was Prussia really becoming human? It can't be..

He remembered how panicked Prussia had been when he had awoken. Well, rather when he was revived because countries could still die, but they always come back to life after. But only if they were a country. He remembered Prussia crying, practically bawling, and wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug, as if he couldn't stand it each and every time he had been revived. He probably couldn't have handled it.

No one could. He promised never to do it again. Prussia made him promise. But still he did until World War Two was officially over and when he had been separated from his brother. The worry from being separated from his brother made him as fearful for him as he was of the man who had taken charge of Prussia. Russia. That fucker. He was the one who hurt Prussia there. That incident, when he was reunited with Prussia made him never want to harm another human being, any country ever again. Because he now knew what it was like to have a loss, a loss which lasted for over twenty years. And the burning anger towards the person who caused it. Or rather, people. America. England. _France._ and Russia. At least his brother was still alive. He never wanted to get into another war again, and instead help the people who were affected by the war.

But now, thinking of suicide. And thinking of Prussia? Together? The two just didn't fit. Not at all. He had no country that he officially represented. And was not involved in anything that Germany could think of that would cause that feeling. But instead of thinking about it, feeling it was another story. He felt as if it could happen. All the logical reasoning, begone with it, out the door it went, and all he was left with was a feeling that hey, maybe it could happen. Maybe, _it was more likely to happen than he thought._ He didn't like this feeling. No, this was probably how Prussia was feeling when he was trying to kill himself left and right. He didn't like it. Not at all. He couldn't understand how Prussia could deal with it.

'Maybe...just maybe..it's because he's had to deal with these thoughts before..'

No.

_No._

He couldn't believe he just thought that. He had to crush that insidious thought before it spread. But it was only something that made him question himself even further. What made him think it. _Why?_ Why when all the physical, the hard evidence provided a solid _no._ He didn't like this. He has to get to the bottom of this. No matter how long it would take him. And starting off with..

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Flip.

Turn.

Fuck it's cold.

Prussia groaned as he fell off the bed, tangled in a mess of bed sheets, again. Goddamn it. Why didn't those pills he had taken worked? All he wanted was a nap. A short nap. Even five minutes would suffice. As long as it would make him forget about the flames. Fuck, he could still smell the smoke on himself after all these years. He can't go outside, as much as he'd like to. Germany would get worried about him in this state. Why did he go into a bar that allowed smoking? Much less get into a fight with a guy to practically _stank_ of cigarette smoke. Okay, the nearest one was around five miles away while the nearest bar that allowed practically anything was only a block or two away. And the guy deserved it as he was a bit too drunk off his rocker. Plus, how could Prussia had known that she was his girlfriend? He wasn't even near her at all. And he was _human._ A human male. Why had he done that?!

Prussia sucked in a deep breath as he tried to suppress the oncoming memories. Memories of the flames dancing on his pale skin as the heat seared deep into his very bones. Memories of the iron handcuffs melting onto his skin, and leaving ever lasting scars onto his wrists. There was a reason why he always wore black gloves in public. It was so no one could see the burns that reminded him of those horrible days. Yes, _days._ It didn't happen only once. Whenever he was revived, someone always found him later. Because of his muted, but still hearable whimpers of pain or because of his rather obvious hiding spots, he didn't know, but what he did know, was why he was being burned. He was a devil child. A sin against God. Some even called him the Antichrist. But whatever he was, he was not wanted. He was never wanted, he was a warning to not be 'different' and above all, he was to be there to serve as a reminder, to never go against God's words, or else they too, would be burned at the stake.

And why was he a devil child? It was because he was an _albino._ With his freakishly snow-white hair and blood-red eyes combined with his deathly pale complexion, he really did look like the spawn of the devil..

Prussia subconsciously reached up to touch his hair. Ever since hair-dye came out, he'd been trying to dye his hair. Black. Brown. Blonde. Even green. It never worked. They always faded away in the matter of a few hours or, in the case of when he had used permanent dye, a day or two. He couldn't do anything about it. Prussia's hand clamped onto his hair, to the point where he hissed from the sharp stinging pain.

And his eyes, his fucking goddamn devil eyes. Prussia sharply turned to look into the mirror. They fucking stared back at him, just to spite him probably. If only he didn't have these eyes. If only they had been a different color. A normal color. Any color other than red.. the color that had caused him so much pain. The red fire that left him forever lasting burns to this day. The red blood that spilled from his open wounds as he was hit with the whip into submission the night before the burnings. The red gleam of hate and anger in the Allies eyes as they disbanded him. Red. It was an accursed color.

Prussia choked back a sob as he had processed what he was thinking. How could he have been so _pathetic_. He was blaming physical aspects of himself that he couldn't control. How could he have been so pathetic..

He sat up and rubbed his shivering hands together. He really shouldn't have thought about that. So soon after he was exposed to the smoke. He probably won't be able to sleep tonight. Prussia shakily stood up and slowly stretched. Maybe he should go bug Austria or Hungary. Nah, they'd probably just put him down. But that was better than nothing right?

Prussia swiftly rubbed his eyes to wipe away any stray tears, and once he believed that there were no traces of any tear tracks, he looked on at the more challenging task at hand: how to get out of the house without alerting Germany. Sure, he could jump out the window, but that would probably make a loud noise and alert Germany who was probably right inside the living room.

Prussia took a few steps to peek out the window and immediately flinched back. The light always hurt his eyes. A dizzying strike hit him and he quickly held his head in his hands, pressing onto his temples. Dammit, he was getting light-headed. Prussia groaned and kneeled onto the floor. These episodes were getting more and more frequent, even when he didn't touched a drop of alcohol in days. The headaches, with or without the sudden light exposure. He stayed, huddled in his position on the floor, head in his hands as the dizziness slowly grew worse. Then, a warm, burning feel rushed up his throat, making him sick as he rushed to the bathroom, luckily, it was right next to his room and slammed open the door. As he emptied his stomach into the toilet, tears started to burn in his eyes again. His stomach heaved as it tried to empty itself more of the vile thing in it. Prussia's hands shook as they clutched onto the rim of the toilet seat. He heaved and heaved until all that came out was spit and bile. He panted, raising his hand to wipe his mouth. He flushed the toilet and quickly cleared all evidence of his throw up. After throwing up, he felt pretty good. Maybe good enough to stomach some food.

He walked outside the bathroom, only to bump into Germany. "..Vest?.."

Germany was frozen in place, and looked like he was shocked and somehow guilty. It was like he was caught taking a cookie from the cookie jar. Which he used to do a lot back then. Dammit, he always fell for little Germany's pout.

Germany slowly relaxed but the strained tone in his voice still showed as he slowly said to Prussia," Do..do you vant to go eat?.."

* * *

As he delved into his newly started research on mental illnesses, the information he absorbed frightened him. Bulimia, anorexia, social anxiety disorder, bi-polar personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and _mein gott,_ so many more.. How could so many people in the world deal with these feelings? And these were only the common ones... Some of the less common ones frightened him the most, like Capgras syndrome and Alien Hand Syndrome..How could you live feeling that the people who look and act exactly the the people you see and know every single day, only to believe that they are duplicates of the original 'them'? And Alien Hand Syndrome, even the lack of controlling yourself freaked him out already...and the hand having a mind of its own? When it could hurt someone you love and you can't do anything about it? That was the stuff of nightmares..

Germany quickly shut the laptop. It had been too much for him. Leaning back onto the couch, he mulled over the new pieces of information. Which one could Prussia have? Well, if he had one of them at all. He already had a list. Alcoholism wasn't that much of a problem as other countries such as England and Denmark probably drank as much or even more than Prussia. There were more concerns that could go with alcoholism but Prussia never displayed the symptoms. Besides, he's been drinking since Germany was a child so why would it affect him now?

PTSD on the other hand... it wasn't that bad right? Every country had some form of PTSD. He just didn't know that it was called that. He had heard of it here and there but it was never talked about outright because most countries never talked about their terrors. And it didn't seem like something that needed to be brought up during the meetings. But the conditions associated with PTSD.. it made little more sense why the countries who had the most bloody histories or the ones who were left by their colonies like England and Denmark, and even Russia, drank so much. Maybe they had the conditions associated with PTSD like depression (which Prussia could also have) in which they used alcohol to 'drown out the thoughts'. Yeah. They probably did.

And depression.. Well, it was linked to suicide and other anxiety and eating disorders. They were almost intertwined weren't they? That reminds him..

Germany groaned in dismay. How could he not have thought of it? What if Prussia had some sort of eating disorder as well as an anxiety disorders? He knew for certain that Prussia probably didn't have any of those extremely rare conditions.. But what about-

_BANG_

Germany immediately jumped to his feet, hand hovering over his pant pocket where his knife lay dormant. As he recovered from the adrenaline rush, his mind had already made the conclusion that it was upstairs and it was either a robber who somehow made it onto the second floor or Prussia. Yeah, it was Prussia. Germany rushed up the stairs, automatically ready to scold his brother on slamming the door, lapsing into the routine he had every other day; Prussia makes a loud noise and he, Germany, goes up to scold him. As he rushed up the stairs, he slowed down. At least till he heard the sound of someone throwing up.

_'Bulimia, anxiety, anorexia..'_

Millions of other thoughts rushed through his mind, not even relating to the act of throwing up as he speeded up again. Germany stopped near the bathroom door, and he breathed in slowly, trying to calm down and disprove his thoughts.

_'He drank yesterday. It must be a hangover..He's had millions of hangovers.'  
_

Even so, he had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was worried about his brother. Very worried about his brother. And he knew that there was something wrong with him. He knew he had to confront him about it later, but Prussia would never admit it. In fact, he'd more than likely isolate himself from Germany even further and lie about it. Germany moaned in frustration. Damn it..what could he do?...And here he was standing outside the bathroom while his brother was throwing up his guts inside.. He was technically spying and invading on his brother's privacy wasn't he? Ugh, he was such a bad person. But this was for a good cause! It was-

Germany looked down. It was Prussia.

"..Vest?.."

He froze.

_Shit._

He was caught. Did Prussia know he was watching the entire time? He should do something- anything to distract him or make him forget. A conversation starter? Where were his conversation starters? Italy gave him a list a few weeks ago.

"Er...do ..do you vant to go eat?"

* * *

WHOOP! I finally got this out! :D Sorry about that wait guys, it wasn't really school but just writer's block and no motivation...stupid writer's block and motivation.. T^T But thank you, I love you guy for ya guys' support and you all really motivate me. I'm not a stalker(I swear) and I dunno if this is normal but I sometimes look at your profiles and just read through your profiles.. Seriously, they are soo amusing and some of them are very sad... :'( But yeah, :) please review, I would love constructive criticism and favorite and follow for updates!

Also. I messed up. This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net and I missed exporting a chapter so this is supposed to be the 6th chapter, not the 5th. Please go reread the 5th chapter please- 8/12/2018

**Author's Note:**

> Please review and tell me how I can improve my writing!1 I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Also I am reposting this from FF.net I hope you enjoy.


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